A couple of notes I want to make about the Writer Burnout and Energy Pennies podcast episode. Link, in case you haven’t seen it: https://youtu.be/5-PUWCs6Vmo
Because burnout is a topic that isn’t popular to address, and a very personal topic, I hesitated making this video. But I feel like I have to talk about it, and keep talking about it. It’s the most common issue that brings people into Write Better-Faster, and it seems like it’s only proliferating right now.
It is not getting better.
Even though we know we only have finite stores of energy, we are still getting burned out, because there are competing draws on our attention. We feel like we have to keep doing this job for a living–like it wasn’t enough when we were just doing it as a hobby. Or we really like the money we were making (or are making) and we don’t want that to go away. Or we haven’t hit yet, but we’re sure that we could, if we could just get some momentum.
It’s the expectations we hold that drive us into burnout. “I have to write even though I’m in crisis.” Or. “I can’t stop doing writing as a job even though it’s killing me.” Or. “I have to keep doing more and achieving more, even though I can see I’m headed for major health crises.”
These expectations are born out of years of brain patterns, and they’re not easy to change. (And of course, not all of us need to change all of the patterns. But for some of us, these expectations we hold are driving us into crisis.)
Somehow, it always comes back down to essential pain. We feel the pain (subconsciously, most of the time), and we react to soothe it.
My income is going down. (Ouch.) I’d better write faster. (Attempt to soothe, which might only cause more essential pain.)
I have no energy, but I want to write. (Ouch.) I’d better get up an hour earlier and not get the sleep I need. (Attempt to soothe, which might only cause more essential pain.)
Or, here’s one that I’ve been especially struggling with the last few months:
I don’t have the time to cook healthy food. (Ouch.) I’ll just eat whatever processed junk is the fastest to shove into my mouth. (Attempt to soothe which is causing more essential pain.) Which leads to: I feel unhealthy. (Ouch.) Which makes me eat worse. (Attempt to soothe, which causes more essential pain.)
It’s a vicious cycle.
If you are caught in a vicious cycle of essential pain and soothing that causes more essential pain, it’s really important to address that. The unrealistic expectation will continue to produce essential pain until you address the expectation.
Here’s mine, as an example:
I have an unrealistic expectation that I can eat whatever I want to soothe my essential pain, but also be healthy and have the energy from being healthy.
This is not realistic.
But my need to soothe is pushing me in a direction that makes me cause more and more essential pain. I really have to address the unrealistic expectations before I can do anything about the essential pain.
Today, I’m repeating the mantra: I can’t expect to eat whatever I want and still be healthy. That is unrealistic.
It is only the first step in addressing the essential pain, but I’m hopeful that it will be a good first step.
I’m planning to do more podcast episodes about burnout. So stay tuned for those. Let me know if there are any topics in this arena that you’d like to see me address!
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