First of all, to everyone who suggested I read this book… you are the best. Thank you so much for this. I absolutely would not have read another productivity book for the rest of my life if there hadn’t been five different people who reached out to me and asked if I’d read this. In addition to everyone who recommended it during the nonfiction book review posts.
So.
This book.
Y’all.
This book.
It is impacting me so much, I’m only one chapter in and I already feel like I have to talk about it with everyone. Also, the first chapter is just brilliant and I think I’ve re-read it five or six times now. Just letting it sink in and I’m intellecting on it.
There are two things I want to tell you if you haven’t read this book yet.
First of all, because I’m in burnout and I’ve known I was approaching it, I am hyper-aware of anything that’s trying to set expectations that I “should” be more productive than I am. And this is definitely not that book.
(I will talk more about this in a minute.)
Second, I am also extremely aware that there are things I say and do that fly in the face of typical productivity advice, and I’m so self-conscious about being the person who says the thing no one else is saying, I get a little frustrated when I feel like I’m shouting into the void.
Finally, I have found another person who is saying the same thing. And not only saying the same thing, but saying it better than I’ve ever said it, and saying it with scary accuracy that I would validate from my own clinical coaching research.
The source of my burnout has been exactly what he describes in the opening chapter of this book. It is a systemic need to “do more” and “be more” and “have it all” and all that stuff. Basically, it boils down to FOMO. No matter what I know about my Strengths, I sometimes ignore my own “No” in favor of the “but what if I miss out” thought.
I hear it. I hear it.
But this book. I wanted to do a primer post because of two things.
1. I’m releasing the first of the Burnout Recovery Quitcast videos and I wanted to make sure I started this discussion because it is time for me to get back to some kind of regular content production. (For my own sanity, as much as anything else.)
2. I’m hoping that some of you are going to read this book with me. I’m putting the On Reading posts on “public” this month so that everyone following Patreon will be able to see the posts. (I realize that the free-follow-option doesn’t allow commenting right now… I’m hoping that will change at some point, Patreon, but we’ll see how that goes.) But at least you’ll know you’re not alone in feeling what you’re feeling.
That Quitcast episode I did entitled, “I’m Tired, Becca” has been one of the most popular videos we released this year and it was the battle cry of the over-productive. Oliver Burkeman (the author of 4000 Weeks) calls us “productivity nerds” and I would call myself over-productive in a way that means I’m focused on how productive I am at all times.
I don’t think this is healthy for me and it’s been something I’ve been struggling with for the last six or seven months, pretty consistently. I’m sure we’ll talk more about this throughout the rest of the month, but I was really interested in starting off the conversation with a quote from the book.
“It means standing firm in the face of FOMO (the fear of missing out) because you come to realize that missing out on something–indeed, on practically everything–is basically guaranteed… which isn’t actually a problem anyway, because ‘missing out’ is what makes our choices meaningful in the first place.”
Missing out is what makes our choices meaningful. That blew my mind when I read it the first time, and it continues to blow my mind. I’ve had a natural inclination to QPT the FOMO in others when I hear it, but I can never manage to QTP it in myself. Missing out on other things (choosing to give my attention to some things and not others) gives meaning to the thing I choose. It means I’ve embraced the scarcity of time and attention and given my attention…
Given. My. Attention…
This is already a phrase I’ve been tossing around internally about my “2022” year focus. Giving my attention. So many things want to take my attention, but what deserves my attention? That’s a question I’m starting to ask myself more often after reading this first chapter.
And of course, there is SO MUCH MORE in that first chapter, and I’m going to talk more about it. I think I’m a little obsessed with this book right now. I hope it stays as good, all the way through, as it has been at the beginning. We shall see.
For now, I’m very interested to know if you’ve read this already. And if you haven’t, if the blurb/discussion speaks to you or makes you want to run away. (Both are valid answers–not everyone likes every book.) Very interested to hear what you all think.
Hope everyone is having a good January so far. We’re heavy in the throes of some new things coming out and I hope you’ll enjoy them! More later. For now. Let’s talk about this book… the book about embracing limits. (What we call “essential pain” around here, and “bad news” sort of interchangeably.) I’m not surprised that those of you who’ve already read it and reached out to me all said, “I think you will like this” because I feel like I’ve already written parts of that book in my head, and those are the most fun books to read.
I’m really looking forward to this one.
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