It has been a struggle.
I know a lot of what we get on social media is the brassy, shiny stuff, and that’s all amazing, but the last several months have been a struggle for me. I shared some of this in the newsletter on Friday, but I wanted to put it out here as well.
My world has been in chaos the last several months (probably since I moved, honestly), and I was trying to keep doing everything I could at the same pace, and it was killing me. I’ve been trying to do everything myself. Everything.
(Also, unusually for one of my posts, I’m not going to respond to every comment here. I mostly just want to put this out there and then let myself disconnect from the expectation that it’s my job to make every single person feel like a part of this community. You all know you belong here. I don’t need to remind you.)
Yes, I’ve been over-working, sure. But I’m kinda built to do that, so that’s not what made me burn out to this extend. More than anything else, like a typical burnout trajectory, it was the unrealistic expectations that really got me in the end.
I thought I could do it all on my own.
I thought I didn’t need anyone.
Some people might not need other people. And you might be one of those people. To you, I say, I wish I was like you sometimes. But then I think about what I would be giving up to be that isolated (my word, not yours), and I think… no. I’ll take this. Everything has a down side and an upside, though.
The upside is, I feel more connected to this community than I ever have because these were the relationships I nurtured. The downside is, I lost literally all of my in-person community when I moved. All. And I haven’t been intentional about building it back. (Those of you who have moved know how hard it is to build new community already.)
I met with someone last week who pointed this out to me. She reminded me that I need support (which I know MANY of you have been telling me for MONTHS lol). And surprisingly, I’m going to let her help me. (And my staff will help me. And my close friends. They’ve been amazing.)
This is the work I have to do now: I have to reach out for support. Already, after last week’s newsletter, I got so many offers of support, I’m so proud of this community and the care we’ve built here.
But rather than feeling like it’s your job to support me, here’s your job: To ask for help yourself. That’s how you can help me. I have the support I need in place right now.
Do you?
Is hyper-independence keeping you from asking for help? Is fear of failure keeping you from trusting others to help? What if you, as someone said to me this week, steer into the fear instead of away from it? Learn how to handle the adversity by going through it. We can’t learn what we don’t experience.
That’s what I’m doing. Every day this year, I’m doing things that scare me. Intentionally. And that’s what today has been about. I did the thing that has been scaring me the most for months and months, and I’ve avoided it long enough. But it’s done now.
I’m steering my ship (thank you for that metaphor) head on into my fear.
Those of you who are waiting for more content from me (author archetypes, vertical platforms, Strenghts), know it is coming. I have not forgotten you. We have an announcement coming soon about our Minnesota Conference–I’m going to spoil it and say that we have Claire Taylor coming to present on Enneagram work. There will absolutely be more coming.
But not today.
Today, I have to make some joy pennies, and some contentedness pennies, and some homemaking pennies. Just know, it will come. The burnout pit is the worst, and I hit it this week. Thank you to those of you who got me through it.
Thank you for your support here, and remember, the best thing you can do for me is to do the hard thing for yourself. Do the thing that I desperately want us to do: what scares us.
Please ask for help before it burns you out, as well. Or if you’re not in that place, do the thing that’s scaring you today. You don’t have to “be the storm” but you do have to know the storm can’t stop you. It can hurt you, but it can’t stop you. Fear is meant to move you, not to stop you.
You are not alone.
I wish you the week you want. Take it.
Becca