If you’ve seen the reel that’s going around about “what’s more important: an increase in positive self-talk, or a decrease in negative self-talk” from the happiness doctor…
Their behavioral studies found a decrease in negative self-talk was far more effective in reprogramming old wiring.
So for right now, I’m trying to gentle the critical inner voice. I’m going to take that study seriously. A friend suggested asking, “Is what I’m doing right now loving myself?”
And that’s what I’m doing. Just checking in. Just asking the question. It has been a game changer so far. My inner critical voice is *very* aggressive, and it thinks it’s being helpful, but I am the kind of person who withers under negative/critical attention. I don’t flourish under it.
Then why keep doing it? Because I thought I needed it to survive. It turns out, I don’t. And probably, you don’t either. (Some of you do… I would assume the Restoratives and the 1 Enneagrams and the Competitions might be very different, but who knows. Maybe the study really is true for every single person. No matter what your personality. I don’t know. But I’m going to give it a try.)
Just try decreasing the negative self-talk. Or try talking back to it. That voice thinks it’s being helpful. But look back at history… is it actually helpful? Or is it just disintegrating you?
I had no idea until recently just how much this impacts me. Even in the receiving of compliments. Even in the receiving of affection. Even in the care of myself and the belief that I deserve good things. It is everywhere.
When I ask the question, “Is what I’m doing right now loving myself?” If the answer is, “no,” then I distract myself like a toddler. I have lots of options for distraction.
So, who’s with me?
– Becca
