Fear is my friend. It reminds me something is at stake, and I care a lot. But the presence of fear does not validate the thing we’re afraid of. If anything, it’s a signal of importance.
A friend of mine, yesterday, likened a particular situation to being on a tightrope, and I responded that we had to walk the tightrope because “it’s the only way to get to the other side… otherwise we just fall into the abyss.”
Which was how the situation felt. I’m standing on the edge with Indiana Jones while he stares down into the chasm. Fear is big. The chasm is big.
But she said, “I don’t think it’s actually that dire. It just feels that way,” which reminded me of the “fear is my friend” phrase that keeps going through my head.
This year, I’ve been doing things that scare me. Specifically. When I feel like I’m scared of something, it’s a signal that the thing matters, and I need to look for a way to take some kind of action on that thing.
And when I thought about “it’s not that dire,” I remembered the Indiana Jones chasm and I said back, “the weird part is, I think if we stepped off, we’d just be on solid ground.”
“YES!!!!” was her response, and it resonated.
Sometimes, I really need to remind myself that the fear I feel is not indicative of anything other than my desire to get things right (trauma), or to have the best option (Strategic), or to make everyone happy (Connectedness).
The fear is too often not correct. It’s the right feeling. But it’s only a signal that the thing I’m about to do is important. And to be completely fair, if I jump off with Indy and the fall is farther than I thought, then I will still be ok on the other side.
And if I’m not ok, I will find a way to be ok because I’m resilient. Strategic is the king of pain-avoiders, so Strategic thinks it’s saving me by helping me avoid the pain. But I’d rather have the thing that’s on the other side of the jump.
– Becca