“I feel unproductive” is a vibe. Let’s talk about it.
I know this will be painful for some of us, but here’s the honest truth about feeling unproductive. What’s really happening when we say things like, “I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything” or “Why am I not more productive?” Here are a couple of options.
1) Your feelings are lying to you. The part of you that “feels” productive and the part of you that knows whether or not you have actually produced things are not logically connected to each other. (In fact, if you understand IFS–internal family systems theory–it’s possible that they’re not even connected to each other at all.)
We often feel things that are untrue. We feel like we should have gotten more done when we could not have done things any differently from how we’ve done them. We feel like something shouldn’t have happened when it actually had to happen that way (in a cause/effect course, I mean).
But even more frustrating: sometimes, you just feel angst or frustration, and your brain can’t tell you what it’s actually angsty about or frustrated about because it’s too subconsciously motivated, and the easiest thing to blame the angst on is a lack of productivity. (Thanks, Industrial Revolution.)
It’s an easy target.
But sometimes, that frustration with a lack of productivity is actually:
* frustration about the degeneration of an aging/ill body
* frustration about expectations not being met
* residual emotions from other people that you’re picking up on and can’t be conscious of
* fear about things not working out the way you want
* fear of missing out (which is always about a lack of security and/or stability)
* hunger / tiredness / dehydration
* fear of finality (or fear of limitation) (if you had trouble reading 4000 Weeks, this might be you)
Our brain cannot correctly label the source of our anxiety or our frustration or our angst when it’s subconscious. In fact, my experience in coaching is that what people think is wrong, and what is *actually* wrong are two different things.
So that’s the first thing that might be behind the feeling of unproductivity. And the second… Achievers and Competitions, buckle up.
- You have unrealistic expectations that act as drivers.
One of the most difficult-to-explain elements of certain Strengths is the way that unrealistic expectations can function as benefits. Achievers, by nature, want to get more done than anyone else. They are driven to execute, and with that drive comes the unfortunate byproduct of unrealistic expectations.
To put it simply: you *should* feel unproductive. But not because it’s meant to drive you to do more. Rather, that it’s meant to drive you to wake up tomorrow and work just as hard. The satisfaction of knowing you’ve completed “enough” can bring complacency to some personalities. And that complacency works against the drive you have to accomplish.
(For those not wired this way, I know it sounds exhausting, but also, it’s so beneficial for those who are wired this way, and it’s how they should be.)
What we always try to coach Acheivers to do is to make friends with that dissatisfaction. Sort of like, if you can hear Terry’s voice, with its Positivity undertone, saying, “look at you, Achiever, still not satisfied, that’s right… just as you should be… good work… now, let’s sleep and try again tomorrow.”
Because no Strength theme is You. It’s something you Have/Use. Achiever doesn’t have to be in charge, just because it’s a loud voice. Neither does Competition or Significance or Strategic or whatever might be causing the “I haven’t done enough today” angst. You *have* the talent to use. It doesn’t have to control you. You can talk back to it, and make it obey you.
I know… it seems so strange… when you haven’t done it before. But that’s how it should be.
Emotions are information.
It’s still possible for me to feel unproductive, but remind myself, “oh wait, look at all these things you’ve done… look at you, rocking all that list… nice work.”
And if you can’t say it to yourself in your voice, say it in mine. Because objectively, when you’ve done everything you could have done, then your work is finished, even if the list remains.
Don’t let decades of productivity industrial complex programming steal your joy from you.
You can be both as-productive-as-possible and feeling-unproductive at the same time. And in fact, many of you should feel that way. It’s your default mode, and represents good things for your brain.
But it’s also very important to talk back to yourself when you ask “why do I feel so unproductive” because often the answer is, “feelings aren’t objective” and “thank you for the information, feeling brain, but I’m not going to feel guilty today.”
Guilt is only helpful to feel if the information can change your behavior. When guilt can’t produce a change in behavior, it is unhelpful.
And yes, I’m talking to myself as much as anyone (who just spent half an hour on the phone complaining about my own lack of productivity, and realized… phew, brain, we’re sad today, and being sad is ok, but I’m not going to feel guilty).
So, I’m going to go write for a bit. And I feel like I’m getting less done than I am. But it’s also ok to feel that way. Thanks, feeling brain. We’re ok.