“I just want to write.”
I don’t know if you can hear the desperation in that sentence, but if you didn’t read it that way, read it again.
“I don’t want to work my day job. I just want to write.”
“I don’t want to market. I just want to write.”
“I don’t want to lose this career I’ve built. I just want to write.”
“I don’t want to move. I just want to write.”
That’s more the feeling behind those words when I hear them in coaching. And it’s translating in many different ways right now because we’ve got people with kids at home for the summer, and we’ve got people struggling in cross-country (or cross-world) moves, and living with a new illness.
When we don’t get to choose the things that are keeping us from writing (or that might keep us from writing in the future), we get especially desperate in that sentence.
Some of us are dominant in Intellection, which can make beginnings of books / scenes / sessions difficult because the core of Intellection is certainty-seeking. That means you have to prime the pump before writing. And that will make beginnings hard. “But I just want to write.”
Yeah. I get that.
Some of us are dominant in Strategic, which can make us not take action on things that we want because it’s not “the ideal” or it’s not “time yet.” That makes us stall out sometimes in writing, and it can be frustrating. We can’t make progress. “But I just want to write.”
Yup. I feel it.
Some of us are dominant in Empathy, which can make us get caught up in the emotions of people around us, and it can be hard to get to the manuscript because people won’t stop needing us long enough to open the book. It’s frustrating.
Uh-huh. It is.
And then some of us are terrified of what’s going to happen in the future of our careers, and it’s causing us to stall out in other places and go looking for inputs to soothe our uncertainty. We are seeing changes that make us afraid of losing what we have, or what we might have.
We are terrified that we might not get what we want (more on this in the newsletter today, but I want to focus for a second on the two factors that are the most necessary for success in publishing.
Those factors are:
Bravery
and
Perseverance
It’s not intelligence. It’s not smart tactics. It’s not right strategy. It’s not talent. It’s not hard work. It’s not networking.
It’s bravery and perseverance. Period.
Both of those qualities involve facing and shedding our fears. They involve looking starkly at the face of what might happen in this industry, or in our manuscript, or in our future, or in our platform, and saying, “come what may, I’m not afraid.”
You may not feel like Samwise Gamgee in the heat of the fire, but you are. You may be sitting on your couch as you read this, or flipping over to the dreaded socials because you’re stuck in your book, or you might be scrolling in line at the grocery store. None of those places feel like a great adventure or a great battle, but they are.
Your expectations exist in your head to motivate you. But when they are threatened, you respond biologically and you don’t know it. This is why I’m constantly encouraging us to do our positive emotion cycles (and why we’ll get into negative emotion cycles later on this summer on the Patreon). Because we have to feel so. much. more. security on a daily basis than we do right now.
Here’s the thing, though. Your brain lies to you sometimes. It’s trying to be helpful. It’s trying to get you through this block or this rough patch or this stall or this fear. It doesn’t know it’s not being helpful.
So when it isn’t being helpful… when there’s no choice but to not “just write” like you want to… tell it, “thanks, brain, but you’re not being helpful right now.” Tell it you can do hard things. Tell it you’re going to conquer this place.
Whatever happens, you are going to survive. Your body kicks into survival mode when the stakes go up, and we need to categorically work on lowering the stakes as often as possible.
Even if I don’t get to leave the day job, I can still write.
Even if I don’t get runway with my kids home, I can still write at some point in the future.
Even if I don’t get unstuck right now, I can still write at some point.
Even if I don’t get to change the state of the industry, I can still write.
And you’re going to argue with that, because your brain is trying to kick you into survival mode to help you get out of the bad situation. But it can’t. It can’t change other people’s choices.
You can, however, remind your brain that it’s not being truthful. You can remind yourself that the future is always open. You can remind yourself that change doesn’t last forever. You can remind yourself that you’ve gotten unstuck in the past. You can remind yourself that bravery and perseverance are the most important qualities in publishing.
This job is a battlefield, and don’t let anyone tell you any different. But we can equip ourselves for battle.
If you’re not already doing intentional #joypennies work to remind yourself of all the moments of joy throughout the day, do that.
If you’re not regularly engaging with people you love outside of the computer, do that.
If you’re not regularly out in nature (when it’s safe and not 120 degrees outside), do that.
If you’re not regularly escaping into story (whatever medium), do that.
Don’t let fear be the boss of you. It will not win. We can do hard things.
You’re arguing with me again. That’s fear trying to keep you vigilant. Just put your hand on your heart and take three deep breaths. Remind yourself that you can do this.
Open the manuscript.
Start the newsletter.
Call a friend.
Go outside.
Whatever you need to calm the biological response that’s not helping you to persevere. We want to be authors for life.
Start that fire today.
– Becca
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