Nothing stays the same.
I know a lot of us struggle with adaptation to change, and as I’m going through burnout recovery and having to square with some of the pain of “I can’t just go back to the way it was,” I remember how much I hate out-of-my-control change.
This burnout has kicked my ass in a major way, and it’s made me re-orient myself to my own needs in an uncomfortable way. I’m not a person who asks for help easily (and I know a lot of us are similar), but I was drowning.
Also, no action happens without consequences, so I’ve had to pay the consequences for some of my ignoring, and I’ve gotten used to turning off my radar for certain parts of myself. Waking up to all that is painful.
But great. (Still painful, and still great.)
I feel a million times better today, and I know there’s more of a sustainable future ahead of me, because of course, what I want is to do this job, the job of authoring, for the rest of my life. And when we’re doing unsustainable things, they won’t last.
Period.
I’m so grateful for Claire and Krystal and Jill and all the staff at the BFA and all the people who have been on speed dial for me while I’ve been going through this. Thank you to clients who have encouraged me during coaching calls when they asked how I was doing and I couldn’t really answer.
I feel more like myself than I have in a long time. And also, I know not to go back to “normal” because normal wasn’t sustainable. Change is SO hard for me when I don’t initiate it, and I’m struggling with how to adapt. But I’m also having my airport moment (gotta get frustrated, get sad, feel the fear, and then figure out what I can do about it), and that’s helping me adapt.
I have some new ideas for the Quitcast, thanks to a friend’s ideating, and I have the new project launching soon (K-starter). But ultimately, I’m just looking forward to the future path and future connection that gives me an opportunity to keep doing this work. And keep writing.
I’ve been doing something for the last couple of months that my Strengths coach suggested to me. She asked me to ask for help every single day. So in some way (big or small), I have to ask for help from someone in my life. She said, “you like helping people, but you’re not the only one,” and that sort of blew my mind. I’m always grateful when people ask me for help because I love helping. But I don’t give that same consideration back.
And I know some of you are worried–I promise, I’m fine. I’m getting back to where I need to be, a bit at a time. So, how can you help me? Do what I did. Ask for help. Get what you need. Take care of yourself. That’s what you can do for me.
There’s a more stable and secure future ahead of us if we will become more connected to each other, and more messy together. Weathering change. Making futures. Being present.
Thank you all for reading this and for being part of my life. I wish you all the best for your weekend. How can you ask for help today?
Becca