Listening To Advice… Especially Those Who Are Very Certain and/or Successful
Anytime you hear someone speak with certainty, be aware of the inverse relationship between correctness and certainty.
Our brains want to believe certain = correct. (Biologically, it’s safer for us if that’s true. Every time someone says, “there’s a lion,” it’s safest for us if we believe them.)
But the truth is: you can be 100% certain and 0% correct. And you can be 0% certain and 100% correct.
Your uncertainty about your process is not an indication you’re doing it wrong.
You may be a fast writer listening to people judge fast writers and you might think, “oh boy, they’re very smart, that must mean I’m wrong.” When in fact, from a scientific perspective, the difference in brain wiring makes it possible for things to be done either fast or slow and still be done well, just not by the same person.
Some people write worse when they slow down.
Others write better when they slow down.
You might be a pantser listening to plotters talk and you might think, “oh boy, they’re very smart; that must mean I’m wrong.” When in fact, from a scientific perspective, the difference in brain wiring makes it possible for patterns to be assimilated without your conscious awareness. And that means, you can “outline” very quickly in your head without being aware you’re doing it.
Some people write worse when they outline.
Others write better when they outline.
There. Is. Literally. No. Exception. To. This. Rule.
Certainty does not equal correctness.
Some of us are naturally wired to be comfortable with this (inner/outer rebels, etc). And others are not. So if you are naturally willing to believe anyone over yourself when they are very certain, I beg of you.
Stop mistrusting your own capacity. In many instances, you are far more likely to instinctively do things that benefit your wiring. Your brain knows what will help it.
Listen.
– Becca