Every morning, I used to start my day with a song from the Superman (Man of Steel) soundtrack. It’s called “If You Love These People” and it has this “time to go to work now” feel.
But it also encourages me to think of myself as the lone Superman fighting evil on my own. Subconsciously, it’s reinforcing a behavior pattern that has been killing me.
This year, I’ve switched to “Furious Angels” first (from the Matrix Reloaded soundtrack) and it’s amazing how the different subliminal message of that movie (still, arguably, a superhero battle movie, but with a focus on community prevailing, rather than on one superhuman individual who can single-handedly do it all) changes the tenor of my entire day.
I’m reaching out more. I’m asking for help more. I’m letting people in more. I’m connecting more. It feels a little miraculous.
I don’t think we realize how small changes can impact literally everything we do over time. (Remember the Mississippi River? This is my re-trenching.)
When we surround ourselves with negativity, it chips away at our resolve.
When we lean into our fear, it digs trenches of survival response deeper.
When we reinforce messages that we are alone or we are unlovable or we are unworthy or we are inferior (or, frankly, superior), those small things will add up. And for many of us, agreeing with those voices have entrenched us so deeply into these responses, we’re struggling to get out of them.
What would happen if you just replaced the messages? Instead of trying to disagree first. What if you had an alternate message? Or what if that thing you’re hearing or believing just flat-out isn’t correct or right?
What if, shockingly, you are competent, but you think you’re not because of a survival response from childhood representing itself?
What if, unbelievably, you are likable, but you think you’re not?
What if, against all the odds, you are talented, even though you’re afraid you’re not?
What if, despite your brain yelling at you, you were lovable?
Worthy?
Worthwhile?
Not too needy?
Smart?
Beautiful?
Wanted?
Safe?
Secure?
Home?
Successful?
Unflawed?
Special?
Important?
Right, just the way you are?
What if I was right, and your survival mechanism was wrong?
I’m just going to float the idea… question the premise… you might have heard of it before and if not, I’m thinking of starting a thing where we just accept that our belief in a premise might be coming from a place other than “this premise is true”…
Join me?
Today, I’m questioning that I’m alone. Or that I should be alone. Or that I deserve to be alone. Or that I will always end up alone.
Join me in questioning. Just in a small way.
– Becca