Most people, when they come to coach with me, have a pain point. Something they want to solve. One of the most recent pain points involved someone who was struggling to get into their manuscript.
Lots of common advice out there about how to focus and get the most done.
* clear the decks first (get everything off your plate)
* set up time blocks so you know what to expect for the day
* don’t reach for the phone, etc.
* write in the morning, admin in the afternoon, etc.
* just start writing without thinking, etc.
But that’s “tips and tricks” productivity. General advice. Maybe helpful, maybe not, good luck to you. (And to anyone who gives this advice, this post is not aimed at you. This is not for you. ) My goal is always to be as specifically helpful as possible and solve the problem you’re having. So I ask questions. And we get into why things are happening (most of the time, we look at your personality, although that’s not always necessary).
With this particular person, the combination of traits they have the most hard-wired, the “common” advice is going to stall them out. The “strategic common sense” advice to save time is going to make them stall out. (And has.) They were having a very specific problem.
It took about 10 minutes of listening to them to hear what was going on–asking questions and being present. And then 10 seconds of looking at their personality wiring, and then 10 minutes of laying out the experiment and talking about what particular issues the experiment will fix.
Most people think giving advice is about knowing best practices. Or about knowing efficiency. Or about knowing common solves.
It’s not.
Giving advice that works is about alignment.
What I’ve seen with similar people in the past who have this kind of issue is that they need a very specific type of focus. They need a very specific goal for the day to be established for them, probably the night before. They need to handle their communication with the outside world so there’s no pressure on them to respond to things (which would pull the blinders up). They need no one to interrupt them, not even for a second.
They need Claire’s reminder that there are no life and death emergencies in publishing. So people can wait 24 hours to hear back from them. But they need to remind themselves of that every time they prep for the next day. And maybe once or twice during the day (because their responsive personality is making them want to check their email). They need help soothing the nervous system.
There are very specific needs they have, according to who they are and where they are in the trajectory of the manuscript, and what their brain needs for optimum work.
And this is probably the most important part of all…
They had an intuition about this. They wanted to do this exact thing, and told themselves they shouldn’t do it. Because it wasn’t the “most efficient” way to keep on top of everything.
But efficiency is not righteous. (I know, Strategics, I know.)
Part of the reason I am so certain in giving this advice to them is that I’ve listened to them. Part of the reason is because I can see their brain patterns (the ones that are visible and predictable, at least–Strengths are the most predictable things about you because they are the things you are the best at). Part of the reason is because I’ve coached 6000+ writers.
I have seen this pattern before, in people who are wired the same, and in people who have the same needs (and the same success patterns).
It is actually rocket science. It’s a very hard thing to come by, this kind of certainty, and I have worked nearly 20 years at it now. And like everything I do, I do this work obsessively. I am not satisfied with half-answers or general concepts. And when I don’t know something, or I need to re-learn something, I will pretty obsessively go after that, too.
But I don’t often talk about it, because it seems so arrogant to say, “but I just know that.” Because I am wrong sometimes, usually when I don’t ask enough questions. (Also, that’s why we run very specific experiments, to test the outcomes of what happens when you do a specific thing.)
Also, I am obsessive about this because I have seen the life change (in the way people feel when they are aligned) that is possible when we will struggle through this, to get to this place.
Anyway, the reason I wrote this post today was because, when I finished this coaching session, and sent the person away to do their experiments, the lightness in their being was SO visible. I feel lighter when I am aligned, just like everyone does. (I have a call with Claire today, to do this very thing for myself.)
Like I have my gait back.
When you know there’s an alignment that will get you your gait back, please, my friend… please do it.
Please do the thing you know works. Please do the thing you know your intuition wants you to do.
Please say no to all the things that are making you afraid and that are holding you back and make the sacrifice of whatever it takes to feel like you can take those full strides again.
You were meant for this.
– Becca
