A friend of mine was lamenting the need for patience with me one day, and she inadvertently said the thing that changed my whole perspective on patience.
We were discussing something that was supposed to happen in the future, and she said, “I guess I don’t have a choice… whether I want to or not, I have to practice being patient.” (Because the thing was fixed at a date in the future.)
And while it didn’t seem like a big thing at the time, I kept calling back to that moment, especially in my coaching. What if all it takes is practice? I can try that. Let’s experiment.
No one likes hearing this. We live in the Veruca Salt of worlds.
“But daddy, I want it now,” is the refrain.
In that world, though, I want to be countercultural. Because I have seen the fruits of patience in so many areas, and I am grateful for that lesson. I’ll tag her, even though I know it might embarrass her a bit… I think she was my first teacher in that way. Kristy
Or life was my first teacher, and she explained the lesson.
Since that day, I have considered the need for patience a gift. (I did absolutely have to grow in that gift, but growth is the goal of life, so… I’ll also consider that an honor.)
In the last few years, I have learned the value of patience in some really intense ways. (Sometimes hurtful, sometimes against my will, and sometimes very debilitating. But on the other side, I’m so grateful for the patience.)
Here’s how I practice being patient, when I know it’s called for.
- I always busy myself with something else in the meantime. If I find my mind turning too much to that event I’m waiting for (and as a Futuristic and a Strategic, that happens *constantly*), I have something ready for it to be busy with. Something that interests me. But I don’t entertain the urgency anymore. I talk back to it. (So perhaps in that way, Step One is QTP’ing the need for impatience.)
(I know, Activators, I know…. breathe.)
- I always say out loud, “but I’m grateful for the reminder that the future is coming.” Because as a Futuristic, that future place is real to me (not imaginary like it is with some people). I feel, see, taste, touch it. So I let myself time travel for a moment, and then I come right back to the present.
OTT. One Thing Today. Do one thing to make that future happen. (Even if that one thing is to encourage myself of the value of patience.)
- I actively work on my fear responses. I know I have some fears that very quickly push my buttons. So I do everything I can to promote security. It might be telling an alternate story to the fear (I just made a “Pull Cord for Emergencies” list and texted it to Crystal that has nine steps on it to remind myself to stay located in the present moment). I make documents, when I’m not in fear response, that I am reminded to read when I hit that fear trigger.
- I disconnect from people and places who activate that response in me too often. Or I will lessen my contact with them, or stop reading their content. (And some of you need to stop reading me, because I’m activating you too often. I’m good. I’ll miss you, but also, you can disconnect.)
- I sing. A lot. As a fairly spiritual person, I tend to prefer songs that have some kind of meaning to me. But I sing Evanescence and Alanis and old poems put to music. Anything that calms me and reminds me that I am secure. You could breathe instead. I know a lot of people find a breath practice to be their personal preference. But I use my lungs.
- I disrupt. I walk away. I turn my thoughts. I shift my focus. Whatever it takes to not encourage the spiral.
I don’t know if this will work for you, because I don’t know exactly where you are. But if you are at all like me, I want you to consider today whether patience might just be bearing fruit for you.
The fruit it’s bearing for me… I have one particular thing I’ve been waiting two years for at this point, and it’s still not quite here. Intellection is still intellecting. But I’m getting there.
In case you needed this today, my friend, know… it is well. You are safe. Stay here with me and breathe. Connect. We’ll get through this.
– Becca
