I know there’s an old adage that says otherwise, but hear me out on this one. (Also, QTP old adages *at all times* please. Question the Premise.)
One of the qualities we are talking the most about this week in the author business phases summit is patience. And every time I bring up the word, I can hear the collective groan across attendees.
Don’t tell me to be patient, Becca.
And to be fair, I’m not telling anyone to be patient. I’m saying, patience is required, whether you would like it to be required or not. So we might as well learn how to cope with it.
And when people quote this old adage about “watched pots never boil,” it can feel a tiny bit condescending, because all of us know what they’re really saying is, “don’t watch the boiling pot… it’s a waste of your time.”
We feel that imperative in the sentence.
But have you ever watched a boiling pot? All the way through the process? It is fascinating. I did this, one day while making pasta. I resisted the temptation to fill my time with other things (I’m resisting the urge to be productive more and more lately, just to decouple myself from the productivity industrial complex). And I just watched the pot boil.
It turns out, watched pots still boil. Because physics.
Not because I watched the pot. Not because my presence was required. But because when you apply heat to the bottom of a pan where water is contained, it turns out physics actually works.
This is what I want us to hear when we hear the call for patience. I don’t want us to hear, “you’d better be busy in the meantime, so don’t watch that pot because you have better things to do proving that your existence is worthwhile.”
No.
I want you to watch the boiling pot. To revel in the fact that your existence is worthwhile just because it is. To trust that no matter what you do or what you accomplish, nothing can validate or invalidate your worth and your value to the world.
We listen to the press and the crush. We start to buy the lie that if we don’t do something, we’re not worth something. We buy so fully in that we create infrastructure in our heads to reinforce this. Some of us even tie this so fully to our biology that we start to activate our nervous system when we’re not proving we have value to the world.
I know there is danger in talking back to those systems. But I just want you to have a moment of peace, and to know that your worth is innate to you. Even when people in this world tell you otherwise. Even when systems in this world tell you otherwise. Even when behavior of other humans tells you otherwise.
I’m off to boil some eggs. I’m not going to listen to a podcast while I do it. I’m not going to prepare for talks. I’m not going to even be intentionally thinking about work. I’m just going to stand there and have patience. Because I need to learn it.
Love you, my friend.
– Becca
