Every turkey day, we put candy corn near our plate and say one thing we’re thankful for, for each candy corn we eat. (Or for each one we’re given, if we don’t like the candy.)
And this year, instead of listing off five things we’re thankful for, we went one by one in a round. And instead of doing it before the meal (because the food was hot), we took the whole meal, so without meaning to, we spent the whole meal talking about what we were thankful for.
It made the thanks a little deeper and a little more meaningful. Typically, if we said all five at once, I would say my five nuclear family members (Mom, Dad, Maggie, Benny, Lucy), but this time, I had to dig a little deeper, because those thanks had already been “taken” by someone else.
So I ended up being thankful for things that I never would have considered being thankful for. Like being fired twelve years ago. Or like a painful breakup. Or like a market retraction.
Just being clear here: I am not policing anyone else’s thanks. Nor am I saying, “you should just be grateful, no matter what.” That’s not my style.
What I am saying is… it made me realize, in the middle of all those sufferings, I never would have been thankful they were happening. And they were awful to go through, all of them. And I absolutely would not want to go through them again.
But with ten years (or sometimes four months or three years) of perspective, my attitude changes. I still felt the way I felt in the moment, and for all the months after. But looking all the way back, I can see how that experience made me who I am.
Again, please hear me: I’m not expecting anyone else to feel the way I feel. I just noticed something today that made me pause and reflect. And when I do that, I often write about it. Whether people hear it or not, and whether people agree with it or not is quite different. Everyone gets to be where they are.
Today, I’m grateful for the speed with which I’ve had to process some of the things that have happened this year. And I’m grateful for the ability to talk about these things with people who matter to me. Even when all is not as I wish it was.
It’s a quiet afternoon, now, with everyone asleep, and I’m going to go write some fiction while the family naps.
All my love to all of you.
– Becca
